1 year already?

Today marks the 1 year mark of losing Rocko. Last year at this time I was crying, screaming, and questioning why someone would hit my dog? I still question why sometimes, but I have learned during 2012 that you can't live asking why and replaying the what ifs all the time. I feel like we as a family have had our good times in 2012 and we have all had our bad times. I want to think that I have grown as a person, wife and a mother during this year and I have been shown to embrace every minute.

At the beginning of 2012...after we lost Rocko, I started using the quote "everything happens for a reason". It has stuck with me all year and I truly believe and have been shown that everything does in fact happen for a reason.
- We lost Rocko...why? wont ever really know, but we wouldn't have Tonka today if it wouldn't have happened.
-Travis was laid off...why? hard to understand...but he has a amazing job now and it wouldn't have happened otherwise.
-My wreck...why? I didn't want to buy a new car bc of that but I had to...that experience opened my eyes and has made me a stronger person
- Our daycare shuts down...this one was hard for all of us and esp Hayden...I have to believe that it happened for a reason and better things are to come.

I also feel like we have been so blessed this year. Kelsey is attending a school that I wouldn't have ever in my wildest dream thought she would. She is turning into a little women and I love the fact that she is learning to love the Lord and finding her true self. Hayden is at the age where is asks questions about everything and sometimes I get tired of answering the same one 20 times I have to stop and remind myself that he doesn't know he is still learning. Travis had a rough year with his licensing tests and his work situations, but I think he has come out stronger and is learning to trust and give in to a higher power. I feel like I have grown this year in my faith and have started trusting in God more. We are blessed with good health and we have been able to provide for our family.

We aren't rich, we don't have fancy things, drive fancy cars or live in a fancy house..we have each other and in the end the other stuff doesn't matter.

For 2013 I want to keep focusing on living within/below our means, keep teaching the kids that material things don't keep you happy and money doesn't buy happiness. I want to really focus on our family and by next January be able to say that we all grew over the year.

So this post is all over the place, but I needed to get my thoughts out of my head :)

Happy New Year!